(Disclaimer... Personal posting ahead... This was written in a moment of self reflection. Some might call it pregnancy hormones taking over. I don't know what to call it. I think it's good to remember times of questioning and self inspection. I'm putting it on my blog as a reminder to myself in days to come. Please, don't worry about me after reading this. I'm doing much better. I just wanted to have it posted as a memory in my book of life.)
Do you ever find yourself wondering how you got to the place you're at in life? Do you ever wonder if there is a light at the end of the tunnel? How far will your faith be stretched? Do you really have anything more to give? What else could possibly be required of you at this time? But you're afraid to ask the questions
out loud just in case someone thinks you're not being tested
enough... so suddenly there are more trials placed in your lap?... I'm not complaining.
Honestly. I'm not. I guess I'm just asking for some reassurance or reminders that in the hard times of life, there really are some relieving moments ahead. That there really is light at the end. That there really is a purpose to the trials and the tests that seem like they are going to consume us at any moment.... Please, don't get into a panic thinking that Carrie has lost her testimony. (No need to call the Bishop or the R.S. president...) Just the opposite in fact, my testimony has been
strengthened more over the past few months by these trials. I actually already know that there are those relieving moments ahead. I've
felt the calming influence of the Spirit. I
have a testimony. I
KNOW there is a light ahead, not necessarily even at the end of the tunnel, but where ever and whenever I need it.
It's the Light of Christ. I always have access to it. I guess today is just a day that seems especially trying. I know everyone has days like these. I know I'm not alone in experiencing trials. If that was the case, I'd be the only person left on earth and no one would be here to read my blog.
(Now that would be sad... No comment love for Carrie.) So... I'm making a firm commitment to quit feeling bad for myself, to pull up my boot straps, and
continue on in the journey. After all, isn't that a part of the human experience we were all so excited to have? Pain and sorrow, joy and gladness. They all come hand in hand. You can't appreciate one without the other. You can't have rainbows without experiencing the storms. So, I guess we just continue to do the simple basics, right? Read our scriptures, say our prayers, attend our meetings, give service to others... The things that bring us out of ourselves and help us recognize God's hand in our lives. The simple things that help us recognize the blessings in our lives. And there are definitely blessings in my life. Too many to count. So, that's what I'm going to do, return to the basics.
7 scribbles...:
MAY YOU HAVE -
Enough happiness to keep you sweet,
Enough trials to keep you strong,
Enough sorrow to keep you human,
Enough hope to keep you happy,
Enough failure to keep you humble,
Enough success to keep you eager,
Enough wealth to meet your needs,
Enough enthusiasm to look forward,
Enough friends to give you comfrot,
Enough faith to give you comfort,
Enough faith to banish depression,
Enough determination to make each day
better than yesterday.
-anonymous
I must say I have felt like that much to often lately too. I am glad you figured out what to do... cause I was still at a loss. I need to get back to the "basics" too. Thank you for that wonderful and SIMPLE reminder. I appreciate your thoughts :D Hope all is good with you!
Carrie, thank you for sharing these personal thoughts with us. I especially like the part where you say you're afraid to ask the questions out loud. I always think that too, like did I speak too soon, is more coming? And, it is true that we can't have the wonderful blessings without the trials and storms. You are a strong woman and a good example. I know that the Lord will always take care of us. Keep your head up :)
Thanks Carrie, It's nice to know we aren't alone in this long journey. We can help each other out.
Just think how beautiful you are in these trials, just like a rainbow.
A rainbow is made when sun and rain come together making one of the most beautiful sights known to man.
I hope that through these trials you remember how beautiful to all of us and most importantly to your heavenly father you are.
He thinks your a great rainbow and maybe this rain is to bring it out and inhance your colours more.
Love you Carrie.
Carrie, what a beautiful post. We all have trials and know that with those trials we grow, but it sometimes doesn't make them any easier.
As an afterthought....I wouldn't trade 90% of my trials. Heavenly Father loves us so much and wants us to grow in our faith. Raising two boys was no easy task, but it primed me for raising a handicapped step-daughter. Moving 2,000 miles away from my mom and from the church, and my twin, taught me to rely on my faith, my testimony, and on being on my own with Heavenly Fathers' help and again, it primed me for not having Mom with me.
These trials truly are blessings and I am grateful that you can see that they are too. I sure love you and the strength, peace, and calm that you bring to Brad in his life. Our family loves you so very much and are so grateful to you!!! :)
Okay, so I'm finally catching up on reading blogs. I wish I had read this right after you wrote it. I know things have been really rough for you lately, but you have amazing strength. I have learned so much about survival from you and Brad. Keep your chin up. Thanks for being an example to me and for being my friend.
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